Fear of fear: how to overcome it in 2 steps

What does the fear of fear mean?

You may be familiar with this: you experience an anxiety-inducing situation, e.g. speaking in front of a group or a frightening thought, and feel your heart beating faster, your hands sweating and your breathing becoming shallow. Later, you no longer only fear the situation, but also the unpleasant feeling of fear itself. You try to avoid fear, but this attempt often reinforces the exact opposite: it grows.

Lisa Feldman Barrett, a leading neuroscientist, describes emotions not as fixed states that overwhelm us, but as constructs that we create through our interpretation and experiences. This means that you have more influence over your emotions than you might think. The key lies in your self-awareness and self-regulation.

 

Self-awareness: recognizing and understanding fear

A first step in dealing with the fear of fear is to become consciously aware of it. Mindfulness helps with this: the practice of observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

A practical mindfulness exercise:

1. Sit down in a quiet place and close your eyes.
2. Focus your attention on your breath. Feel how the air flows in and out through your nose.
3. When thoughts or fears arise, simply notice them and let them move on without holding on to them.
4. Say to yourself: "It's just a thought. It's okay to have it."

Mindfulness strengthens your self-awareness. You learn to recognize the signs of anxiety early on before they build up. You also create distance between yourself and your emotions: you are not your fear, but someone who perceives it.

 

Self-regulation: working with fear instead of against it

Self-regulation means actively controlling your emotions instead of being overwhelmed by them. You can use scientifically validated techniques that have been proven to help reduce stress and anxiety:

 

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR)

This method helps you to calm the physical symptoms of anxiety. It involves tensing and relaxing different muscle groups one after the other.

This is how PMR works:

1. Sit or lie down comfortably.
2. Tense different muscle groups in your body one after the other, e.g. hands, arms, shoulders, legs, and then let them go.
3. Pay attention to how relaxation spreads through your body.
4. Combine this with your breath: inhale deeply as you tense and exhale as you release.

PMR has been proven in numerous scientific studies to be an effective method for reducing stress and anxiety. It signals to your brain that there is no immediate danger and helps to break the cycle of anxiety and physical alertness.

👉 Guided PMR in German: Progressive muscle relaxation from TK

👉 Guided PMR in English: Therapist Aid: Progressive Muscle Relaxation

 

Body Scan

A gentler alternative to PMR is the body scan, which originates from mindfulness practice. This involves systematically directing your attention through your body in order to consciously perceive sensations.

How to carry out the body scan:

1. Find a quiet place and sit or lie down comfortably.
2. First, focus your attention on your breath.
3. Start at your feet and slowly move upwards until you reach your head. Feel every part of your body: is there any tension, warmth, tingling or other sensations?
4. Try to observe everything neutrally without judging it. There is no "right" or "wrong".
5. If you notice tension, consciously breathe into this area and release the tension with each exhalation.

The body scan is also scientifically based and is often used as part of programs such as the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) used. Studies show that this technique activates the parasympathetic nervous system and reduces stress in the long term.

👉 Guided body scan in German: Body Scan of the TK

👉 Guided body scan in English: Body Scan Meditation by Jon Kabat-Zinn on Youtube

 

Understanding emotions as constructs

Lisa Feldman Barrett emphasizes that emotions are not predetermined destiny, but constructs that we shape ourselves through our thoughts and experiences. If you "reinterpret" your emotions, you can change their effect. A simple approach is known as reframing.

Example: Instead of thinking: "My fear shows that I am weak." tell you: "My fear shows that this situation is important to me." This creates space for curiosity and self-compassion instead of being overwhelmed by negative thought spirals.

 

A concrete plan against the fear of fear

1. Strengthen self-awareness: Keep an emotional diary. Write down when anxiety occurs, what triggers it and how you react.
2. Practicing mindfulness: Take 10 minutes a day to consciously feel your body and your feelings.
3. Progressive muscle relaxation and body scan: Use one or both techniques regularly to release tension and become calmer.
4. Reframing: Look for a new, constructive perspective on your fears.
5. Confront slowly: Gradually face up to the situations that scare you and realize that you can overcome them.

 

Conclusion: overcoming the fear of fear

The fear of fear often feels overwhelming, but it is not insurmountable. With emotional intelligence, more precisely through the combination of self-awareness and self-regulation, you can learn to work with it instead of fighting it. Mindfulness, progressive muscle relaxation and the body scan are valuable tools for finding inner peace. And as Lisa Feldman Barrett says: Your emotions are malleable. You have the ability to change their meaning and use them to your advantage.

However, if your anxiety is very severe and severely limits your everyday life, it may be helpful to seek psychotherapeutic support. The Psyfinder of the Federation of Swiss Psychologists (FSP) offers a reliable way of finding a suitable specialist. For milder anxieties, coaching can also be a good support to work specifically on self-awareness and self-regulation.

Dare to take this path. Not only will you understand your fear better, but you will also discover how you can go through life stronger and calmer.

 

Source

Lisa Feldman Barrett (2017): How Emotions are Made. The Secret Life of the Brain.