In every team, awkward or even toxic behavior occurs from time to time, which can make collaboration more difficult and put a strain on the team climate. Team members are often not even aware of how harmful patterns of behavior creep in and poison relationships within the team. In this article, you will find out which typical toxic behaviors occur in teams and which strategies can help to promote more constructive cooperation.
Table of contents
What is toxic behavior?
Toxic behavior is any form of interaction that is harmful to the relationship or team climate. It poisons the work environment by increasing mistrust, negative emotions and conflict. According to John Gottman, whose research focuses on interpersonal relationships, there are four particularly destructive behaviors that he calls "the four horsemen of the apocalypse": criticism, contempt, defense and stonewalling. These patterns occur not only in partnerships, but also in teams, and they can have serious consequences.
Four toxic behaviors in the team
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Criticism: Attacking the person instead of the behavior
In everyday working life, criticism can quickly become destructive if it does not relate to specific actions but attacks the personality of a team member. If you make sweeping negative judgments or question the skills of your counterpart without addressing specific behavior, this often creates a feeling of threat. Constructive feedback, on the other hand, clearly describes what behavior should be changed and offers concrete suggestions for improvement.
Countermeasure: Give feedback that is forward-looking and aims to teach you something. Create a trusting framework, state specifically what you have observed and formulate a wish for change. Refrain from evaluating the person as a whole or judging unchangeable characteristics.
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Contempt: superiority and disrespect
Contemptuous behavior can become visible in the team through sarcasm, cynicism, derogatory remarks or non-verbal gestures such as eye rolling. It is particularly destructive because it conveys an attitude of superiority and destroys the feeling of being valued. Contempt often arises from unresolved conflicts or a lack of respect.
Countermeasure: Treat your team with appreciation, even if you disagree with them. Try to find positive qualities in each person and express them. If you find this difficult and feel a strong rejection, it could be helpful to seek external support in the form of coaching to clarify the underlying problems and find a good way of dealing with the person in question.
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Defense: Do not accept responsibility
Defense is problematic when team members do not want to take responsibility for their own behavior. Instead of dealing constructively with criticism, they blame others or emphasize their own role as a victim. This makes open communication more difficult and can further escalate conflicts.
Countermeasure: Accept that there is no "one truth" and consider the grain of truth in the other person's feedback. Take responsibility for your part and be prepared to apologize if necessary. This shows that you are open to growth and want to make your contribution to resolving the conflict.
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Walls: withdrawing and blocking out
Walls appear when someone withdraws from the conversation, avoids contact or hides behind the excuse "too busy". This can lead to major problems in a team because issues are no longer addressed and unresolved conflicts continue to fester. Walls often arise as a reaction to contemptuous behavior or in environments where there is little psychological safety.
Countermeasure: Learn to regulate your emotions in order to remain open to conversation even in stressful moments. If you notice that you are withdrawing, take a moment to calm down and then actively approach the other person. If there are situations outside of the team setting in which you deliberately want to break off contact, at least clarify any outstanding issues in order to find a constructive conclusion.
Why does toxic behavior occur?
It is often unfulfilled needs or unreflected issues that lead to toxic behavior. Feelings of insecurity, inferiority or superiority can result in destructive communication patterns. It is helpful to question yourself: What is behind my behavior? What fears or desires are influencing my actions? This reflection can often trigger a change.
Antidote for toxic behavior in the team
Recognizing toxic behavior is the first step in bringing about change. If you notice destructive patterns in your team, you can take the following measures to get back into a constructive mode:
- Promote positive communicationConsciously focus on supportive and appreciative conversations. For example, you can introduce regular team reflections in which everyone shares their positive experiences. You can find more on this topic in the blog article "Strengthening positive communication and team performance".
- Create psychological safety: Make sure that all team members feel safe to express their opinions without fear of negative consequences. You can find more on this topic in the blog article "Psychological safety: The most important success factor for teams".
- Rely on team coachingIn professional coaching, negative communication patterns can be reflected upon and alternatives developed. This creates a space for growth and change. You can find more on this topic on the page "Team coaching".
Conclusion: Recognizing and counteracting toxic behaviour
Toxic behavior in a team can strain relationships and make collaboration more difficult. If you notice that destructive patterns are prevalent, it is important to take countermeasures at an early stage. Sometimes awareness of these behaviors is enough to initiate a change. In other cases, a Team coaching help to sustainably improve communication and establish positive behavioral patterns. If you would like to support your team in overcoming toxic behaviors, I will be happy to assist you. Feel free to arrange a non-binding consultation: Book an appointment.
Reflection questions
- What toxic behavior is occurring in your team and what patterns do you recognize in yourself?
- What could be the reason for this behavior?
- How can you contribute to positively influencing the team atmosphere?
Sources
- Gottman, John (2018). The seven principles for making marriage work. Hachette UK.
- The Gottman Institute: The Four Horseman
About Sybille Imbach, organizational psychologist
Sybille Imbach is dedicated to helping managers and teams strengthen their emotional intelligence and resilience. With many years of experience as an organizational psychologist, she specializes in sustainable strategies in stress management and team development to promote personal well-being, effective leadership and constructive teamwork. Her expertise combines psychology and coaching in a unique way to create healthy and productive work environments.
When classic tools or self-help books no longer help, Sybille Imbach starts where real change begins: with inner clarification, emotional depth and sustainable self-management.
